Dark, satirical looks at the pure torture of modern conversation
________________________________________
Recently, a guest used a particularly annoying conversational trick - the question prompt. The circumstances matter not. I found it rather annoying, but only because it was so obvious. Maybe I was the only one who noticed. Imagine someone saying, during a conversation, "of course, just as the bomb in the lift-shaft reached three seconds to detonation, I realised what I had to do to save the day..."
"Good Lord, Cecil!" the surrounding guests exclaim, drinks half-raised to their open mouths; "and what on earth WAS that?”
"Ah-ha" beams Cecil, eyes glistening with pleasure as he slops his brandy around your lounge, "I'm so glad you asked..."
Nauseating, to be sure. Yet, I suppose, it's a perfectly legitimate feature of conversation. Of course in these situations few people have the balls to say "of course you did, you twat; that's why you're here today and not pushing up daises... cheesy nibble, anyone?"
On the other hand, I think it has as much to do with the person striving for attention rather than what they're saying. Some people, whilst not guilty of attention-seeking themselves, pander to those who do terribly. "Why don't you ask me about my new shoes" someone may say - the least subtle of all prompts perhaps. Your options are limited here. Short of "Because I couldn't give one about your bleeding shoes, Mabel" (brave when discussing shoes with a woman), one is cornered to purring something along the lines of "Oh my, where DID you get those, dear?”
By comparison, some more reserved conversationalists find modesty forbids. Maybe they don't want attention, maybe they do yet gall at the thought of such desperate lengths to attain it, or maybe the thought doesn't enter their head at all. I rather think I fall into the latter category. By telling things only to those that ask, one can at least be assured that a fraction of them are vaguely interested in a nuance of it... sometimes. Personally, I don't imagine my standing on a stool in a bar and yelling "I just want to be LOVED; the heroine is a cry for HELP" would gain much of a response.
Which is just as well, because the Cecils and Mabels of the worlds would probably have beaten me to it.
