on dreams - 'realities that never happened'

her hand on my hip, curling inside the waistband - looking down at me

I beckoned her to lean over me, close, so I could whisper

'why are you being nice to me?' I asked, warily - not as stupid a question as it sounds, trust me

the boyfriend; the guy I didn't know, in the background, gave a friendly smile - he obviously wasn't too bothered about this

'because we love each other' she said, full of confidence for a change

'who does?' I asked, panicking 'us...?'

she cut over me

'and he wants you to look after me when he's gone...' - like it was the most natural thing in the world

he's going to die? Again? fuck

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We get more used to dreams as we grow older. They, hopefully, lose their ability to panic or upset, but their ability to confuse and perplex remains. Because dreams are, by their nature, little realities that never happened.

Upon waking from a dream of significance, I would say that most people, if even for the smallest moment, experience two things. The first is a very, very short period of confusion - fractions of a second - as the brain makes the distinction between what has happened and what has not. Usually this is fairly straight-forwards and poses little complications, but the fact that we experience it and maybe, just maybe, we want to be wrong sometimes. The second is relief with sorrow. I may be stretching my claim to insight a little bit far here, but I would say that at least one of said emotions - if not both - is present, however fleetingly, in the waking dreamer.

Relief because we may not want the events in the dream to have transpired. Sorrow for exactly the opposite reason. And both... both, well; that's for the reader to understand for themselves.

So relief, today, that the events haven't happened. And sorrow? A little bit overstated. Disappointment maybe. But would I ever admit that to someone else? Probably not... Why the hell do you think I blog?